I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
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Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
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I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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