found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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