i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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