allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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