Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
