just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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