We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
