Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
