Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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