i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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