She's JV to your varsity
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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