If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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