I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
