You're so nebulous sometimes
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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