Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
