Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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