okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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