Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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