I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
