i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
