I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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