In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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