420 ftw
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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