I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
