I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
