i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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