I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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