Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
