I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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