Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
