Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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