D3 body, D1 cock
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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