And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
