Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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