its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
