It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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