She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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