The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
