While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
