Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
