so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
