More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
