It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
