Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize