oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize