Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
