That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
