Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hate all girls vehemently.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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