We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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