you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
