You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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