She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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