i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
