Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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