I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize