Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
