take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
