I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You pole danced in your parka.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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