so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
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I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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