ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
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There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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