My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize